How do you decide what to do?

How do you decide what to do?

When life changes on you, how do you make the next step? What if you realise you haven't healed, and have to take some steps back. I am still questioning whether I took my "next step" too early.It really sucks. It's like 2 steps forward, 12 back. Why did I do that ? Why did I just not take it slow. Arrrrgh!

The perfect answer would be, now I have learnt that I wasn't ready and I didn't know before. But that sucks, why couldn't I have the hindsight to know this before or at least have an idea. Why did I have to go though this again? I guess there is not answer to this but, like I said before it sucks! I know I need to take some time and figure out what I want to do. Do I want to be a midwife? What do I want to do in the mean time? Find a job or start something new? But I find myself wanting to know these things now. And IT SUCKS!

I am very lucky I have the support of my family, friends and organisations like Peach Tree. They are all really there for me. This would be impossible going though this with out them.

I am just having a hard time accepting that I am a bit lost and confused right now. Please know that I know I will get thought this, I am ok. I am just on a bit of a downwards turn right now.